Have you ever wanted to throttle someone for getting on your case for no reason at all? I suspect I’m not alone in that thought. By nature, I’m an introvert. As a small child, I would sometimes hide behind my mother’s skirt when adults tried to talk to me. If I saw one of my school teachers in a store, even if I liked them, I would go out of my way to avoid them so I wouldn’t have to talk to them in an unfamiliar setting.Over the years, I found that, like many creative types, I felt much more comfortable speaking on stage or performing in some way, usually musically, than I did interacting with people one on one. I could, in effect, play a role in the former, but I had to be myself in the latter. That could be scary and uncomfortable, so I didn’t embrace what for me was a challenge.
This personality trait made me fit the explanation I felt compelled to give to friends, and at least as often to strangers, who would, out of the blue, say to me, “What’s wrong with you?” My explanation was simply, “I’m not the smiley type.” Sometimes I’d simply say, “Not a thing,” and turn to walk away. That was the truth too, until my blood pressure would rise because of what felt like a hurtful and needless question.
As you can tell, this repeated question throughout my life has troubled me. I’ve wondered, “What’s wrong with my face? Why do people feel they must make such comments to me when I’m minding my own business and not even interacting with them or anyone else?” I’ve concluded that, while I remain reserved by nature, I must make the extra effort to smile and be “chatty”. It seems to satisfy our culture better, and makes for more attractive photos besides.Now, decades after these questions began, many of my friends and acquaintances would not guess this part of my personal history, because they’ve seen and know the person who has worked hard to overcome her inherited nature. Oh yes, my father faced the same questions. It’s comforting to know someone who can relate…and I call them both FATHER.
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